Kroma. Great first issue. A nail biting WTF cliffhanger. Issue two comes out and…oh boy. Look at the cover. The chick has her left eye covered by a flower. That’s some serious one eye symbol elite occult wack job stuff right there. Don’t believe me? Take a gander at this article and tell me this pic is just a random artistic choice: One Eyed Symbol Stuff . Okay, what’s going on here? Who is this Lorenzo dude? He’s from Italy right? Great, he’s some P2 Freemason/Mafia Soldato who’s continuing the sick agenda for his Luciferian masters. Now I’m not reading a comic book I’m taking in a mental indoctrination and spiritual debasement of my sparkly soul. Not only that I’m paying 8 bux for it!
So the main character from the first issue was this kid called Zet who was lorded over by some Priest who wears a satanic horn headdress while he perpetuates a lie that this cute chick who cracks herself out of a black egg is who the people of this walled in city should fear. The kid, naturally, investigates who this girl is and develops a crush on her. Hell, so did I, I got a thing for cute blonde girls. At the conclusion of the first issue our supposed lead character gets speared right through the chest and dies while falling off the cliff of the tower where the girl is imprisoned. Clearly, it’s a nod to the modus operandi of the occult entertainment community since that’s what you have to do if you want to get ahead in the industry; you have to sacrifice someone close to you. I wonder who this Lorenzo dude sacrificed? Was it one of his childhood buddies who looked like this kid Zet? What’s going on here? Am I reading a comic book that’s beautifully drawn by an Italian bad ass or reading a confession by another industry pawn who’s face is probably being sat on by Cardi B right now as she babbles in tongues in an infinity pool in the Hollywood hills.
Our new lead, the cute blonde girl, is vaulted out into the outside world on what must be the longest rope in the history of mankind. I call BS on this rope Lorenzo! I mean, it must be as long as the radius of the entire walled in city, look at that thing? Were you too busy drawing pentagrams on your wall to calculate something a little more realistic for a device to get Blondie into a new environment? What is that, like 1000 feet from tower to wall? So she lands on a tree safely with no broken bones, bruises or injuries after traveling in the air for a couple thousand feet? Was that what you had to do to be initiated into the Medici family? How many tunnels underneath the Vatican did you have to travel before finding your way ‘into the light’? Was this where you came up for the idea of a regular girl who can swing on a rope like Spiderman and never be hurt? Do you have a date with Madonna tonight and when she sits on your face are you planning to draw some more panels for your evil comic while she bleats out ‘Dress you up with my love?’ Can you confirm to us at least that Madonna’s poon at this point smells like blue cheese?
Another thing I noticed is that Lorenzo has a fetish for skirt shots? As in there’s a lot of panels where you’ve got an angle that you’re looking up this girl’s loincloth at her thighs. I counted about 10 of them. Here’s one of them:
So here’s my question, how old is this girl? She can’t be no older than like, what, sixteen right? So she’s a minor right? So if I’m developing a crush on her or looking a little harder at these panels than I should then I’m a straight up pedo right? She’s mighty young Lorenzo! Was that how they got you? You’re an old bearded perv dude and you were dating some sophomore in High School on the down low and they cornered you and said ‘Either draw this FreeMason Mafia Occult Elite Comic for us or we will ruin your life in your little Italian village?’ Is that what happened Lorenzo???
So now, with you getting a bunch of comic geeks a little hot and heavy over a minor are you in essence promoting the pedo agenda? You know the agenda where they’re trying to stop saying the word Pedo and replace it with ‘Minor Attracted Persons’. Look that up, it’s completely bonkers. So when you said yes to writing this comic book were you awarded with a night with Lady Gaga? And did she show up dressed as Alana from Saga dressed as Hazel? Unbelievable! Lorenzo. Dude. I’m just trying to enjoy some comic book goodness with my coffee in the morning as my terrier nestles near my lap mmkay? I’m not trying to support your lascivious debased proclivity to bang Pop Stars dressed as your favorite comic book characters!!! Like what happens if I purchase Issue 3? Does Doja Cat show up at your Den of Evil dressed as Batgirl or does Jamie Lee Curtis show up at your apartment with a couple suitcases (wink wink).
Spoiler: This issue ends our High School Sweetheart being drugged by the Old Guy in a Bird Suit that saves her earlier in the issue. He straddles her chest with a knife and is about to carve her eyes out. Wonderful. More occulty stuff, thanks Lorenzo. Are you trying to get a job at Marvisney? Hate to break it you but you’re gonna have to eat an extra from the set of She Hulk in order to get a meeting and all those extras are super chubby for some reason. The production coordinator from She Hulk called Central Casting and specifically requested extras that were chubby and slow. I guess they were tired of hunting down the lanky spry extras for their post shoot meal.
Sigh, the sad thing is I kinda wanna see what happens here so you win Lorenzo you depraved degenerate. I’ll support your debaucherous ways for now. But for goodness sake, put a pair of pants on Blondie already!
Rating: 7.5
Verdict: Pull with shame
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